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today was a shitty day. i was supposed to eat more but that didn't happen


also i'm not sure if anyone is reading this and i don't know if i want to keep updating this. (people hate it when people do this but... at least i'm not doing it because i'm getting fatter. lol. don't you worry, i keep failing eating, it's not getting any better, so i'll get small whether you read this or not)

keeping a blog is supposed to be about getting stuff out. i have people to vent to, i can vent to them 24/7 if i want. i guess i don't need this and, i guess you don't either.


Calorie compilation 2

(Unfinished, will be updated)

Feb 27 ---- 359
feb 28 ------- 0
Feb 29 ------ 5
Mar 1 ---- 100
Mar 2 ---- 163
Mar 3 ---- 406 (for some reason I feel terrible because I went over 400
.....................I know she's going to be so glad but I just feel terrible.
.....................Even though it's probably good for me. I feel better today.)
Mar 4 ------ 106 (shitty day, fail.)
Week: 1139
Avg: 162.7

i guess that's enough to live on

see you



-5 kg / -11lbs

out of the 20s


espresso has 9 calories?

well, today's calories 163. I ate with my best friend, she's amazing <3



-3.9 kg -8.6 lbs

morning weight



(after my cutoff limit, that is, since days or even midnights don't matter with shitty random sleeping times)

my friend didn't want to eat
i didn't either
but together
together we ate. <3
we succeeded. we're great <3

100 calories eaten. x

(we took our time but we got there!)


well i didn't eat today either

but i probably should, friend is telling me to... she should too

i guess we'll both try to...

(oh, if you really awnt to know my calories for today were 5. that's five. tea and half a red bull sugar free.)


-3.1, 6 hours

6 hours of sleep <3 it was so good to get that much sleep for a change.

weight -3.1 kg ( -6.8lbs)

(lbs corrected, was wrong before)


There are no words

for how vicious and cruel some people can be :'(

I don't want to eat. I don't want to drink. I don't want to breathe.

I will drink. I will breathe. Quietly, gently.

I won't eat.

This is too much

I don't know if I can
I have to, for him, I can't do that to him
But I don't know if I have the strength